Facebook faux pas

Am I the only one who's getting annoyed with all these trivial Facebook status updates? I want those short little tidbits to be funny, intriguing, informative, sarcastic, mind blowing... or at least... somewhat interesting.

Weather updates make me yawn, unless we're talking major tornadoes, hurricanes or other natural disasters. 'It's raining out again' doesn't even pinch a brain cell. Really? It's raining? Whoooooa! Or summaries of what you did that day, unless, of course, you did something extraordinary. 'Went to work, did the dishes and some laundry, and had a glass of milk...' booooooring. I also don't want to read about your health issues, pregnancy woes or other body-related challenges in details. If you are obsessed with breast feeding or that little Timmy isn't pooping... join a mommy-forum or write a blog. I don't need to know about your heart burn or swollen feet. You're the one who joined the baby-factory movement, so deal with it! I also don't need to read today's Bible verse, or what day you think the earth will collapse. That' your problem, not mine.

I'm glad I have the 'hide' button so I can get rid of all these insignificant matters. Or I can just delete 'friends' altogether. Just because we're 'friends' on Facebook, doesn't mean I'm really your friend.

But please! Engage me! Shout out about what you think about the latest trends, news, movies - anything! Use those little phrases or sentences to challenge people to think! Share a quote! Antyhing!

A walk around the hood

I'm coveting this

Isnt' it pretty?

Send in the clowns

It's time to leave wet and gloomy winter behind. Spring is here! The end of an era, and the dawn of a new.

Everything is bigger in the USA

Bar food!

If your ears are sore

Take a cue from Jewel :

Fly like a raven, black honey into the night

Soft like the air beneath, a swan in her flight

Then return back home to bed

And bring the dancing stars

Sleep and dream of a white wolf howling

And know that I am near

Shhhh, close your eyes, don't ask why,

Let's dream, together, you and I

Oh, close your eyes, we will fly,

Dreaming, together, you and I

The moon has sailed in a silver gown of stars

That's long, but not forever

Soon her love will rise as mine

And sing to the shadows

Tomorrow we shall rise with the dawn

Kiss the flowers and bloom

But, now, lie still as the wind and listen

For I will come to you with the foot steps of morning

Shhh, close your eyes, don't ask why,

Let's dream, together, you and I

Oh, close your eyes, we can fly

Dreaming, together, you and I

Dream, dream, dream, dream...

Top 10 drunk movie scenes

Pick yer poison.... and cue the hangovers.

Here's the break-down of the top 10 drunk movie scenes:

1) Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

Nicolas Cage takes us through the final crisis of his life, drinking himself to death in Las Vegas. Yes, it's depressive and emotional, and undoubtedly one of Cage's best performances. We watch helplessly as Ben Sanderson stocks up on booze and cigarettes, and decides to forgo food altogether. Nothing can change his mind, not even after he develops a relationship with another lost soul, a hooker played by Elisabeth Shue. Despite the movie's dark theme, Cage's character lights up with some memorable lines. Check out the scene when Ben goes to the bar and starts talking to a woman. Some funny lines there.

2) Sixteen Candles (1984)

John Hughe's epic teen dramady has more than bad hair, wedding ruffles and geeks with acne. Who can forget Long Duk Dong! Stereotypes aside, the foreign exchange student played by Gedde Watanabe tells it like it is. Who can forget drunk Dong lying on the grass telling grandpa, "No more yankie my wankie, the Donger need food"?!

3) Beerfest (2006)

Das Boot! This is the ultimate booze movie - beer maids with huge jugs (yes, pun intended), German sausages, homeless pimps, linguistic challenges and tests of manhood. We follow the quest of two German-American brothers who travel to Europe to spread their grandfather's ashes. During the trip, they stumble upon an underground drinking game tournament, and all hell breaks loose. After a devastating loss they go back to the States and recruit three men to join their drinking team. Pop a cold one while you watch the Americans take on the Germans, and see who can first chug a giant glass boot of beer. Cheers!

4) Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)

Hands down, Ari Graynor plays the best drunk I've seen on the screen. Graynor takes her gum-chewing character, Caroline, on a buzzed blizzard through indie-music's New York. She gets lost after too much booze at a concert, and finds everything from turkey sandwiches to Jesus while her friends look for her. According to IMDB, Graynor improvised her whole speech during the scene at the Port Authority. The best scene, however, is where Caroline loses her cellphone and bubble gum in the toilet. Which one is worth fishing out?

5) Arthur (1981)

A true classic. Dudley Moore received an Academy Award nomination for his role as the alcoholic playboy Arthur Bach. The whole movie is so funny, it's hard to pick out the best part. I do love the scene where Arthur wakes up with a hangover (as usual!), turns off the train just in time for his servant to come in and say, I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition. I brought you orange juice, coffee and aspirins...or do you need to throw up?". Also, check out the beginning of the movie when Arthur decides to pick up a street girl.

6) Old School (2003)

Frank the Tank! Need I say more? Will Ferrell is hysterical as a frat boy-turned-husband. His love for his wife isn't going to keep him away from the bottle anytime soon.... Check out where Frank goes streaking. Epic!

7) Bad Santa (2003)

Ho ho ho! This is one Santa you don't want your kids to visit. Billy Bob Thornton is perfect as a merciless criminal dressed in jolly apparel. Watch as the cynical Willie goes on a crime spree with his elf, Marcus. Along the way they meet "The Kid" who's literally obsessed with Santa Claus. Equipped with a flask, fake beard and a vocabulary that could take on any sailor, Santa's visit to the mall is anything but P-G.

8) Forrest Gump (1994)

Perhaps drinking isn't the first thing that comes to mind about this movie. But ping pong, running and shrimps aside..... there are plenty of flask-waving characters who cross Forrest's path. Lt. Dan goes through a rough period after losing both his legs in combat, and turns to alcohol to help soothe his emotional wounds. Check out the scene where Forrest Gump is visiting him in Dan's apartment in New York, and they have a heart-to-heart about life and religion:
Dan: "Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?"Forrest: "I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir".

9) Superbad (2007)

Need some "McLovin"? Talk about the ultimate teen geekfest. Beer, sex, penis drawings and semen... what else could you expect from Judd Apatow? Check out the scene where Seth and Evan get pulled over by two crazy police officers. Also, every scene with Christpher Mintz-Plasse as Fogell is guaranteed to make your night.

10) The Hangover (2009)

What happens in Vegas does not necessarily *stay in Vegas..... Mike Tyson's tiger, a missing tooth and a seemingly orphaned baby make for one out-of-control bachelor party. Four pals who take the highway to Las Vegas for one drunken adventure wakes up with the hangover of the decade, not to mention a missing groom. Check out the scene where the guys are chased by a naked angry Chinese gangster, played by Ken Jeong.

News producing 101

Here ya go. This is what I stare at all day long. Pretty entertaining, yes? Truly a sight for sore eyes.