Bump obsession

News flash!! Angelina Jolie is pregnant! Again! This time, the baby will save her relationship with Brad! Oh my, because that's what babies do.. they save marriages and relationships. That's why there are so many single parents out there.... Okay, okay. This is not about my anti-maternal instincts... but I have to ask.. What's up with the bump mania in America? Every time I go to the grocery store magazines yell out "JEN LOOKS PREGNANT", "KATIE GLOWS.... TOM IS HAPPY HE'S GIVING SURI A SIBLING", "IS ANGELINA EXPECTING?" There is even a website dedicated to this madness, Babyrazzi!

When did we start caring so much? One thing is the tabloids competing with each other for the audience, but why is pregnancy such a hot topic? Celebs popping out kids is nothing new. I don't give a damn, honestly. It's like a being pregnant makes you super human. I think this bump obsession is going too far. If you're famous, you better not eat a burger - you're pregnant. You can't wear big clothes - you're hiding a bump! And if your relationship is rocky - don't worry, that baby will save everything!

And who wants to read about Kourtney Kardashian or ex-playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson? It's not like they have anything smart to say, but baring their belly and talking about morning sickness... That's revenue! I swear, if you type in these two names in google, the first word to appear next to them.... is BABIES!

But alas. It's not enough to get preggers and pop them out. You need to get back in to shape ASAP, preferably the day after birth.

I don't know who the target audience for these super mamas are... Educated career-pursuing women? Stay-at-home moms? The Octomoms of Small Town USA?

You tell me.

Drop out of school and be a bum!

Yes, you read it right. Who cares about something as trivial as education? Fire up that bong instead, and take it easy. Life is hard enough.

Or... you COULD work hard in school, and do something with your life. There's still no guarantee that you won't be a bum, though.

But here's the thing... President Obama is set to speak to children in America's schools tomorrow, and some thinks... that's BAAAAAAAAAAD! I mean, how dare he? How could a leader of a nation do something so incredibly foolish as to encourage kids to read and learn? Yeah, that's really bad political propaganda, and just another sign that end times are near... We're one step away from a socialist-communist famished nation with a president-turned-dictator at the steering wheel.



Republicans are encouraging everyone to celebrate "National Keep Your Child At Home Day" . So what message does that give? Mom and dad don't agree with the President because they're scared he might turn us into little left-wing liberals? Or, mom and dad are trying to push their political agenda on the kids?


Come on! What happened to common sense? Are we so caught up in this republican vs. democrate war that we can't see straight? As an independent, and a non-citizen of this country, I say: Let the kids go to school, and let the kids hear the President. There are far worse things in this country to worry about. Far worse.